Only Ones Who Know

It goes without saying that as we get older, things get tougher.

We were lying on our bed, it was 12.41 am — past midnight, as numerous waves of thought were occupying my mind.

What is it that we’re actually looking for in life? Wealth? Stability? Happiness? Status? Contentment?

As any other human beings in their 20s, I am struggling my ass off to make ‘it’. We don’t live in a bubble anymore. Those sanctuaries keeping us safe and sound, well, they’re all gone. We break out of the cage and made to fly, whether our wings are intact or broken. Just like birds. We’re trying to fly as high as the clouds sometimes, but then fail because of the heavy rainstorms. And so we lay low, from one tree to another, hoping that one day we may reach the clouds once the sunshine’s out and the sky is clear.

Yet expectations can only go so far, and the universe does not always befriend us. It has now become a tempest. We can’t even seek for refuge anywhere. The branches are breaking, our tree is almost collapsing. Now, where do we go from here?

I could feel his big arms wrapping around me like a burrito. His core temperature is somewhat higher than the average human beings, probably caused by his excessive amount of body fat, and suddenly I was sweating amidst the cold. He hugged me so tight I could barely breathe.

And, I snapped myself back into reality.

Overthinking kills, they say. Cortisol is the main villain to blame. My head always feels so crowded at times that somehow I feel like I need to escape it. But how do you run away from your own thoughts? Nobody is trying to abduct anybody, anyway.

But then, I remember how secured it is to be in his arms, how comforting and reassuring his presence has always been. Everything suddenly isn’t so foreign and terrifying anymore. He’s this big strong tree standing still in spite of the raging wind.

And for a little while that night, I feel like I do not need to go anywhere else, for I am safe here.

With him.